So a few weeks back, I get this letter in the mail. You know the kind that you have to tear off three of the edges? Yeah, I'm thinking it's a check for overpayment of property taxes. So I rips into it....excited about the extra $$$, and see YOU ARE HEREBY SUMMONED....
DAMMIT!!!!!
So now fast forward to Tuesday, where I arrive at the courthouse to fulfill my "Civic Obligation," as the judge calls it. The bailiff comes in and tells us to turn off all cell phones, books etc. and that there will be no texting, playing games, reading, eating, picking boogers (I'm kidding about that last part) during this process. YAY!!!
The Judge begins asking for valid excuses for dismissal from Jury duty: felon, underage, no longer a local, resident, full time student/teacher, medical reasons, business reasons. So this guy, who looks like the principal from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off, " goes up there for medical reasons and the judge sends him back to the jury pool. He goes back up there for the business excuse and is DENIED Uh-gaine!! LOL!!
We're led to a hallway outside of a courtroom. I stop by this guy, about 325-350 lbs easy. Next thing I know, I smelled some Eau de Bootay.
I'm thinking "someone pooted,"but the scent got stronger. It was big man (BM, pun intended), so I eased on down the hallway. Well, we're ushered into the courtroom and BM is sitting between a white lady, Y and a black lady, B.
As the Prosecution lawyers are questioning the jurors, the Y's face has turned pink and she's trying to cover her nose on the sly, and B is doubled-over and leaning toward the lady beside her. Next thing you know you see a bailiff come up to B and hand her some Halls cough drops. I guess the menthol was supposed to help tone down the "I didn't wipe my @ss good" aroma. The judge gives us a break and B ran to bathroom, she had gotten ill.
We're back from the break, Y is blatantly holding her nose now. It's the defense attorneys turn to ask us questions, such as "Do you think someone is guilty if they're wearing handcuffs?" (Da Hell??!!) & "Has anyone ever told you that you had a twin?" (ROO?)
Then she asked some question and all I heard was "Sustain, Approach." She tried to re-phrase the question twice after that, and each time, "Sustain, Approach." **Sigh** The judge finally told her to keep it moving. LOL!!
So we're waiting to see which of us were selected to serve on the jury, and the lady next to me says she's not really a Jehovah's Witness liked she claimed so she would not be picked. *blank stare* Then, this other lady asked "How much are we gonna get paid?" Another lady told her $25. She was H-O-T!! Talking about "I don't even get out of my bed before 9 and I'm up here @ 8 and all I'm getting is $25?" Then she sucks on her gold tooth with the champagne glass in it.
They finally came in at 5pm to announce the jury and alternate. Needless to say, I didn't get selected. **Does the Happy Dance**
DAMMIT!!!!!
So now fast forward to Tuesday, where I arrive at the courthouse to fulfill my "Civic Obligation," as the judge calls it. The bailiff comes in and tells us to turn off all cell phones, books etc. and that there will be no texting, playing games, reading, eating, picking boogers (I'm kidding about that last part) during this process. YAY!!!
The Judge begins asking for valid excuses for dismissal from Jury duty: felon, underage, no longer a local, resident, full time student/teacher, medical reasons, business reasons. So this guy, who looks like the principal from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off, " goes up there for medical reasons and the judge sends him back to the jury pool. He goes back up there for the business excuse and is DENIED Uh-gaine!! LOL!!
We're led to a hallway outside of a courtroom. I stop by this guy, about 325-350 lbs easy. Next thing I know, I smelled some Eau de Bootay.
I'm thinking "someone pooted,"but the scent got stronger. It was big man (BM, pun intended), so I eased on down the hallway. Well, we're ushered into the courtroom and BM is sitting between a white lady, Y and a black lady, B.
As the Prosecution lawyers are questioning the jurors, the Y's face has turned pink and she's trying to cover her nose on the sly, and B is doubled-over and leaning toward the lady beside her. Next thing you know you see a bailiff come up to B and hand her some Halls cough drops. I guess the menthol was supposed to help tone down the "I didn't wipe my @ss good" aroma. The judge gives us a break and B ran to bathroom, she had gotten ill.
We're back from the break, Y is blatantly holding her nose now. It's the defense attorneys turn to ask us questions, such as "Do you think someone is guilty if they're wearing handcuffs?" (Da Hell??!!) & "Has anyone ever told you that you had a twin?" (ROO?)
Then she asked some question and all I heard was "Sustain, Approach." She tried to re-phrase the question twice after that, and each time, "Sustain, Approach." **Sigh** The judge finally told her to keep it moving. LOL!!
So we're waiting to see which of us were selected to serve on the jury, and the lady next to me says she's not really a Jehovah's Witness liked she claimed so she would not be picked. *blank stare* Then, this other lady asked "How much are we gonna get paid?" Another lady told her $25. She was H-O-T!! Talking about "I don't even get out of my bed before 9 and I'm up here @ 8 and all I'm getting is $25?" Then she sucks on her gold tooth with the champagne glass in it.
They finally came in at 5pm to announce the jury and alternate. Needless to say, I didn't get selected. **Does the Happy Dance**
