Today’s Episode of at the Movies features Friday the 13th. This is a Michael Bay remake of the popular 80’s franchise. It starts off with Mrs. Voorhees chasing down the last Camp Crystal Lake counselor, but the counselor lobs Mrs. V’s head off with a machete as little deformed Jason looks on from the trees. Anyway, fast forward to present day and a group of young adults (3 guys & 2 girls) are trying to find a field of weed near the abandoned Camp Crystal Lake. Jason offs all of them, except Whitney, who “strangely” resembles Mrs. V.
Six weeks later, Clay comes to town looking for his sister Whitney and he runs into a group of college kids (the asshole, his girl, two skanks, the geeky Asian, and the token black guy) coming to hang out at a-hole’s cabin on the lake. Jason picks them off one by one, until Whitney & Clay “kill” him and dump him in the lake……where he jumps back up out of the water and grabs Whitney. End Credits.
Being a die hard F13 fan (when we were kids, we used to walk to my aunt’s house (she had cable) @ 11pm to watch the latest F13), this movie sucked!! It didn’t suck as bad as Jason Goes to Manhattan or Jason in Space. I mean Jason wasn’t even the same. This dude was running. RUNNING!!! In F13 1 thru 50-11, Jason NEVER ran. Never!! And on top of that, this cat has a bat cave! Well, it’s an old mine, but still. He never had that in the previous films. Then on top of that, he kept someone alive! Jason?? Keeping folks alive?? LOL!! But the high point is the black cat wasn’t the 1st to die. But he was that lame-o-he got high & horny & was going to get-off to a J. Crew catalog. But he did get the worst death. He was running and Jason threw an axe and got him in the back. Then Jason let the guy Scream for help, in hopes that someone would come out and help him, but no one did (Bastids). So Jason flips this guy over and stomps on him so the axe goes through his body. So save your $$$ until JR gets her "Digital Copy" business up and running.
D.A. Rating: 4 popped kernels
