Movie Weekend

Next Day Air


I had the pleasure of watching the movie that consisted of ALL of the Friday movies, Paid in Full, & a sprinkle of Half Baked put into a hot skillet and scrambled up with some diced up hot dogs & cheese. (WHAT? I skipped Breakfast!!) The movie had a little humor. Mike Epps, who will always be pigeon-holed as Day-Day, did his best Day-Day impression since Next Friday. Wood Harris, reached back to his Paid in Full role, but added a splash of Avon from the Wire. The high point of this film was the Hot Piece of Carmel Man-Candy, Omari Hardwick (PP moment), as the SuperFly (Dope boy trying to get out of the game).


This flick has the makings of being pretty decent, but the climax *snickers* came too quick and left much to be desired. (Ladies, we’ve all been there before. LOL!!) Either Benny Boom ran out of budget or he just needs to stick to making videos.
DA’s rating: Borrow someone’s bootleg or put it in the top 25 of your Netflix Queue.


And since DirecTV had Free Starz weekend and messed around and gave me a DVR, I got to record a few (like 10) movies. **Don’t judge me**

Penelope

So I got to see Penelope, which was about Tiny, err, I mean a girl who was cursed with a pig snout and her adventure to break the curse. All in all it was cute, and it had Russell Brand in it!!
DA’s rating: Wait til the next Freeview weekend or when it airs on ABC Family.

Step Brothers- Freaking Hilarious!!
DA’s rating: Netflix or Starz

Bedtime Stories-Cute!! And Russell Brand’s in it!!!
DA’s rating: Netflix or Starz

Oh and StarzBlack aired Jason’s Lyric last night. CLASSIC!!! I’m sorry but Bokeem Woodbine should’ve won an Oscar for his portrayal of Josh. He ran the gamut of emotions, from semi-sloy to wanna-be gangsta to psycho-killa. But what KILT me about this movie, was 1. those terrible southern accents (Jada was sounding like Whitley) 2. Allen Payne’s Beyonce'-esque performance and hairy buttocks, and 3.Treach’s refusal to let accept his Alopecia & still trying to rock to mini-ponytails.
DA’s rating: Go borrow your cousin’s DVD and don’t return it!!

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At the Movies: Friday the 13th

Today’s Episode of at the Movies features Friday the 13th. This is a Michael Bay remake of the popular 80’s franchise. It starts off with Mrs. Voorhees chasing down the last Camp Crystal Lake counselor, but the counselor lobs Mrs. V’s head off with a machete as little deformed Jason looks on from the trees. Anyway, fast forward to present day and a group of young adults (3 guys & 2 girls) are trying to find a field of weed near the abandoned Camp Crystal Lake. Jason offs all of them, except Whitney, who “strangely” resembles Mrs. V.

Six weeks later, Clay comes to town looking for his sister Whitney and he runs into a group of college kids (the asshole, his girl, two skanks, the geeky Asian, and the token black guy) coming to hang out at a-hole’s cabin on the lake. Jason picks them off one by one, until Whitney & Clay “kill” him and dump him in the lake……where he jumps back up out of the water and grabs Whitney. End Credits.

Being a die hard F13 fan (when we were kids, we used to walk to my aunt’s house (she had cable) @ 11pm to watch the latest F13), this movie sucked!! It didn’t suck as bad as Jason Goes to Manhattan or Jason in Space. I mean Jason wasn’t even the same. This dude was running. RUNNING!!! In F13 1 thru 50-11, Jason NEVER ran. Never!! And on top of that, this cat has a bat cave! Well, it’s an old mine, but still. He never had that in the previous films. Then on top of that, he kept someone alive! Jason?? Keeping folks alive?? LOL!! But the high point is the black cat wasn’t the 1st to die. But he was that lame-o-he got high & horny & was going to get-off to a J. Crew catalog. But he did get the worst death. He was running and Jason threw an axe and got him in the back. Then Jason let the guy Scream for help, in hopes that someone would come out and help him, but no one did (Bastids). So Jason flips this guy over and stomps on him so the axe goes through his body. So save your $$$ until JR gets her "Digital Copy" business up and running.

D.A. Rating: 4 popped kernels

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@ The Movies: Notorious

Okay, I went to see Notorious with hubby (He paid, 'cause I wouldn't, couldn't or shouldn't). It told the life story of B.I.G., starting off with a young Christopher Wallace (they failed to show was him stitching the fake gators on his shirt and eating Butter Crunch cookies like he rapped about. BOO!!!!) and ending at his untimely death in Cali.



But the pièce de résistance of the film was the sessy times scene with Kim & Big....*imagine a naked greasy Mort (Madagascar) bouncing up and down on a naked greasy Moto Moto (see below)

*shudders* Meik, It was comparable to that Scarface video. *shudders*
And during that scene, Kim told Bigs she wanted him on top...He breathlessly said "Unh-unh" LMAO!!

Anyways, Jamal Woolard did an excellent Biggie, minus the roaming eye. Derek Luke was trying too hard to be Puffy, he gets an "E" for Effort, though. Oh, the little dude from the People PC commercials has grown up and he stars as Lil' Cease from Junior Mafia AND he still has that jacked grill. Naturi Naughton nailed Kim Jones. *whispering* Word on the street is Kim said Naturi was "too dark" and that she wanted Christina Milian to portray her. *Hands Kim the Sloy Luck Club's "Satcho Ass Down" award w/gift certificate to The Face & Body Center* **applause**

All in all this movie, this movie was okay, the soundtrack was great, but may I suggest hitting up the Discman or waiting til they show it on BET Blackbusters?







D.A. Rating: 1 1/2 small bag of popcorn, no butter.

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